The Crimes and Punishments of Miss Payne

July 11, 2005
Calma Harrison, the smart, sassy narrator of this memorable first novel by an Australian high school teacher, shares an unlikely friendship with class clown and ne'er-do-well Jaryd Kiffing, known as "Kiffo." Jonsberg reveals the source of their bond in flashbacks on tinted pages, which hint at something terrible happening to each of them four years before. The main narrative begins in Year 10 English class with Kiffo driving off the teacher in a hilarious (unless you are a teacher) opening scene. The replacement, naturally, is far worse. Miss Payne has the "sensitivity of a paving slab," and looks ferocious enough to "disembowel a horse with her teeth." "The Pitbull" instantly makes it plain she plans to "break spirit." Calma agrees to help Kiffo get rid of her with a vague strategy that involves stalking which, miraculously, actually raises suspicions she's connected with drug dealing. The plot moves briskly from one calamitous misstep by the would-be detectives to another, but the action outside the classroom often teeters on the brink of absurdity. The momentum stumbles, too, when the story climaxes with a turn that feels unnecessarily harsh. Jonsberg recovers (the final twist is tantalizingly ambiguous) and Calma's assured and mostly comical account is well-nigh irresistible. It's similar to her complaint about teachers who get going on the subject of attitude: "They're like a train with brake failure on a long slope. There's nothing you can do until they stop rolling." Ages 12-up.